When pigs sell out

So I got this text today from a guy I met on Grindr. "Prop 8 was just ruled unconstitutional! Now it honestly makes me want to stop fucking around and meet someone worth possibly marrying someday." As soon as I swallowed the vomit that had arisen in the back of my mouth, I sent him a text back saying, "Oh please! Don't be such a fucking girl! Today is a victory for civil rights, not for monogamy! LOL!"

God, I hate how gays give in to traditional societal teachings about what constitutes an "appropriate" relationship. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship (trust me, I would like to have one someday, too), but there is nothing more sad than people giving in to others' ideas about what kind of relationship they "should" have. But we do it all the time. We meet someone and we immediately begin to judge ourselves. "Now this means I have to stop being such a pig and really focus all my attention on making this relationship work." But that's actually the very reason why relationships don't work out: As soon as we begin to judge our pasts and our choices and attempt to re-cast ourselves as good" guys to make a relationship work, we begin the journey toward the failure of the relationship. Why do so many of us want out partners to love an idealized version of ourselves that isn't who we really are? And when will we stop judging our own sexual desires to the point that we deny them in favor of love? Why not have a relationship in which our sexual desires are an accepted and encouraged part of it?

I just don't understand why people fall prey to the bullshit that we've been taught about sex and relationships. Especially gay people. Aren't we supposed to be more sexually open and evolved? But I'm not seeing that in the gay community at all. I'm seeing gay men schilling for acceptance and validation by getting into relationships that will never work out because they are built on false premises, and it's just so very saddening to me. The fact that Prop 8 has been overtuned in the California court today is indeed a victory, but like I told my friend, it is a victory for equality and civil rights only, and does not mean in any way that we need to run out and become "good boys" so we can find husbands now. We still get to be the same dirty, piggy guys that we are, day in, day out, without making ourselves feel like we are any less deserving of love or a committed relationship. I will never try to remake myself in the image of what somebody else finds acceptable, and neither should anybody else.

Prop 8 may have been overturned today, but the true victory is for anyone who stands for who they are and believes themselves to be equal because of it. I'm a pig, I'm equal to everyone else, and I deserve everything that I want in life. That's what equality is all about, people. Please get with the fucking program, people.