We are in need of a (new) sexual revolution... Who's in?

I tell ya, sometimes being a versatile bottom slut on the make is a very frustrating life. There are so many finicky guys and flaky assholes out there, it's almost a miracle when anybody is able to hook up at all. What is it with all these selfish tops out there with entitlement complexes who think they rule the whole world? I swear, if I meet one more fucking asswipe who will only hook up with me if I can arrange a group with two other tops who will fuck me first so he can use their cum as his lube, I'm going to frickin' blow chunks. Seriously, guys, if that's the only way you will hook up with someone as hungry and talented as me, then you've got something wrong with you. Have you seen my XTube videos, for God's sake? Sheesh.

What I hate about these guys is that they expect me to be the one doing all the work to make the hook-up happen. I'm the one who has to find the other guys (and deal with all the assholes who say they will come and then flake on me), I'm the one who has to host and make it so that the guy just has to walk in and unzip and not have to worry about anything, and I'm the one who has to deal with the disappointment when the selfish top decides he is no longer interested in playing because it took me longer than one hour to put this all together.

Sites like Manhunt, Adam4Adam, BarebackRT and AtomicMen and apps like Grindr have made hooking up a lot easier in some ways, but it's also made it a lot harder. Now that we have all these options to choose from, people start getting really finicky about what it is they think they must have in order to have sex with someone. And it seems to me that people are looking for more reasons not to hook up than they are trying to actually make it happen. Which defeats the whole purpose of having sites that are set up and were created so that we could, you know, meet other people! (Seriously, what's up with all these guys who are "just here to chat"? Honestly!!?? What is this--grammar school? I mean, aren't we a little too old for pen pals, guys? Especially pen pals who live in our own city? And then you've got the guys who are "happily partnered" and "just looking to meet new friends." Yeah, right, dude. If you were so "happily partnered," you wouldn't feel the need to sign onto Grindr 17 times throughout the day looking for other guys "just to chat." And if you're really just looking for friends, then why is your profile picture one of you flexing your muscles in your underwear? And let's not forget the guys who respond to say "I'm not really hooking up that much these days" but who are signed onto the hookup sites for what seems like 25 hours a day! If you're not looking to meet, then get the fuck off the site, buddy, 'cuz you're ruining it for the rest of us who are! But, um, I digress... )

I'm just so over this culture of wimpy, namby-pamby guys who don't do what they say and who don't say what they mean, or who feel it's OK to lead other guys on with all kinds of hot nasty talk without any intention of actually meeting up. (NOTE: It's not cool, guys!) And please don't tell me that I'm "taking it too seriously." That's something else I hate. Don't put it back on me and make me out to be some kind of sex fiend just to take the focus off the fact that you are an asshole. I don't take it too seriously, thank you, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to take it just plain old regular seriously. I'm looking to get laid, damn it! Now get outta my freakin' way and don't pull on my dick unless you're going to suck it too. Open up bitch.

But back to selfish tops. I mean, really guys: WTF!!!??? I talked to a guy tonight who wanted to fuck me raw in an alley and make a video of it, but only if I came to him with at least one to three other loads in my ass. I mean, isn't the fact that he would have been fucking me RAW, in an ALLEY, with a CAMERA capturing it all ENOUGH to get him turned on? I still have to go out and jump through hoops just so he can enjoy what would probably have only been three minutes of fun? (Because, let's face it, when a guy only focuses on what he wants out of sex, he's probably not very good at it to begin with. Yes, selfish tops, your secret is out: Most of you suck in bed.)

I think all these options have overwhelmed us to the point where sex has become something we can just order up on demand, and if we can't have exactly what we want, down to the very finest detail, then we just won't have it all. And that sucks. Not just for those of us who are being dicked around by these guys, but for them too. Because they are missing out on something truly great: Making a connection, if only for a little while. Sex shouldn't be something that detaches us from the human aspect of it. No matter what people say about no-strings-attached sex being perfect because we don't have to worry about the other person, sex isn't about just getting off; it's about connection with other people, just by its very definition. Even one-night-stands can be truly valuable and valid experiences that teach us something about ourselves and fulfill us if we are open to experiencing it. We shouldn't be treating sex like something we can order off the menu. There's another person involved, so shouldn't it be about the connection instead of just the result? But I digress...

I know that not everybody thinks about sex the same way that I do, but damn it, they should! LOL! The way I look at sex is pretty fucking awesome if I say so myself, and if more people shared my opinion that it's a very healing and self validating experience that we share with others, instead of just making it about ourselves and our own selfish needs, then I honestly think that not only would we be treating each other better (like, you know, actual human beings), but also we would all just be a lot happier with ourselves. I want a new sexual revolution, one that is not just about having sex without shame, but one that's about putting aside all our vanities and entitlement issues and focusing on the amazing culture of sexual freedom that could be ours if we were compassionate and caring enough to treat each other with the respect and courtesy that we all deserve. So who's in???