I feel like I need to start it all out with a little bit of background. I was born and raised in a tourist town in Pennsylvania by the Mason-Dixon Line. It was a very conservative town, one where image was very important, so it wasn't easy growing up gay there. I've always had a very high sex drive (I remember sticking my dick down the bathtub drain as the water was draining out so that I could get off), but I was very sexually repressed (and oppressed), to the point where I started acting out sexually in my teenage years. I got into all kinds of trouble, once for slipping a dirty note to one of the guests staying at my dad's motel, once for taking video of my hot neighbor while he was changing, and once for propositioning a guy on the street as he was walking into a bar that was next door to my parents' house. I didn't have anywhere to turn about the feelings that were going on inside me, so I rebelled against everything I was being told. Instead of anyone sitting down to discuss my sexuality with me, they put me in therapy and told me it was wrong.It wasn't until later in life, while studying the history of sexuality in America and taking some eye-opening classes in college, that I realized that everything I'd ever been told about sex was wrong. Not only was it great that I was gay, but it was great that I was a slut. I started accepting myself for who I was instead of trying to change it, and I've been celebrating it ever since. It still gets me into trouble, though. The rest of the world isn't as evolved, and they still think in terms of "appropriate" and "inappropriate" behavior. They still want to judge any kind of behavior that is in any way deviant from what we are taught about sex, love and monogamy and especially what God thinks about all those things. (It's probably a good thing that I don't believe in God then, isn't it?) But by and large, I'm very happy in my way of being. I believe in love and sharing your life with someone, but I'll never play by "the rules" -- especially ones that I didn't have any hand in making up. And since the majority of gay men are still clamoring for social acceptance by trying to mimic behavior that doesn't even work for straight people (that divorce rate just keeps on climbing -- so much for the sanctity of marriage), I just do my own thing and hope that one day I meet someone who is confident and fearless enough to not lay down the law and who is happy to let our relationship reveal itself to us as we go along.
I moved out to Los Angeles eight and a half years ago, and started working as a journalist covering the entertainment industry. Eventually I started covering the gay porn industry, which was perfect for me. I'd always loved porn (I think anything that celebrates sex is awesome--not to mention important), and I especially loved the hot men in it. I went on set, I went to a lot of awesome parties, and I slept with a lot of porn stars. (God, I loved the perks!) People kept asking me why I wasn't doing porn myself, but--apart from the fact that I'm not very comfortable taking off my shirt at the beach, let alone for a camera crew--I wasn't really too keen on what the major studios were turning out. It was all too perfectly lit and too perfectly choreographed and staged, and all the guys were too perfectly muscled and tattooed. None of it felt real anymore, and I'd always connected to the porn that made me feel included in its fantasy, as if I could walk into a porn scenario and have a strong chance at joining in as well. I felt alienated: Where were the guys who looked like me? And where were the guys who were into guys like me? I've had my share of big muscle studs come after me, thank you very much. So I started watching bareback porn and XTube videos, and that's when I realized that the best (or, rather, the more authentic) stuff is the stuff that comes from the heart. The real genuine shit, where guys are just fucking for the sheer love of it, not for a paycheck or for validation. They just get off on being nasty pigs and sharing it with other people. In a way, it's a form of philanthropy! Fucking for life!
I filmed my very first video ("Servicing a Hot Hung Stud") for XTube only very recently, in October of last year (2009). It was just a quick little video of me sucking a guy off from start to climax in less than 2 minutes (Yes, folks, I am very efficient when I want to be.), but the moment I posted it and the hits started to come in, I was hooked. It wasn't so much that people were telling me I was hot (well, OK, I didn't mind that, haha) or that they were just getting off on it, but it was more that they were feeling something because of it. The comments I got were about how real the video was, and I could tell that people were connecting with it. So I made another. And another. And a bunch more. And here I am.I really enjoy engaging with the people who watch my videos. I won't call you "fans," because that implies that I think I'm some kind of celebrity, which I'm not. (If anything, I'm a "celebrinality," mmmkay?) But there are a lot of people who seem to love my honesty about my sex life, and who really seem to be inspired by what I do. So this blog is for those folks, for the ones who are living vicariously through my exploits, for the ones who are closeted and can't be as open as I am, and just for all the other dirty pigs out there who really love watching hot nasty sex. (God, I love a good pig.) I am not delusional about my place in the grand scheme of things (let's face it, I'm not performing brain surgery or discovering the cure for cancer), and I realize that there are plenty of people who will feel that what I do promotes "unhealthy," risky behavior (now that's another blog entry entirely), but I do believe that what I do has meaning in people's lives, and I hope to be able to connect with some of those people in this forum. You can bet I'll be offering up a lot of juicy stories about my exploits, plus "first looks" at some of new videos before they are posted on XTube, as well as pics and all kinds of other hot treats for tricks. So stay tuned, folks, 'cuz there's a lot more to cum... Woof woof. (
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